Swinging from a branch, In the wind.
The telephone rings, inside.
I hear it, because i'm waiting for it.
I'm waiting for a telephone call.
from you.
Run inside,
grasp it off the hook.
Breath.
Force a cough.
clear.
"Hello!"
Anxiously and nervous,
palms sweating,
head aching.
SILENCE.
"hello.."
I hear the other line click.
My tears bleed through to my heart.
It was you.
I know it.
But you're still too afriad
ADMIT YOU LOVE ME.
It's not a game and i'm not that blind.
I beg you to be blunt.
Love me
Hurt me
but i need
NEED
an answer.
Feed my soul.
Wait!
The phone is ringing.
I watch it.
two
three
four
Ok, Ok,
answer the god damn phone.
"Hello."
SILENCE
That's it.
Fuck you.
I think but never say. As i pull away from myself, so close to the phone base, i pause. Breathe.
"hey.."
I pull back.
My fingers are trembling and i cant see through my tear stained glasses.
"Hello."
CLICK.
That's all. I don't understand. I hate him.
I hate this.
I grasp the phone to my heart.
Breathing so loudly.
I can hear my heart crying.
Collapse to the floor. It's just not fair. I'm not this weak. Why cant he just love me back?
I'm not that un-lovable, Am I?
Are my insecurties really that. Ugly?
I'm independent. Arent I?
Crying is a waste.
I stand up.
Walking to the door. I can escape to the world. Start all new again. This Is My New Beginning. Watch out! I'm comming out a New Woman.
Two steps
Three
Four.
My hands are trembling
but
I stop them. I grip myself and give myself strength.
Closed eyes, I open the door.
One Step over the curb
Open both eye lids.
He's there.
"I love you."
The tears fall from his eyes.
And I find my strength.
Loving him is my greatest weakness
Loving me is my greatest strength.
